This year signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could suddenly stop contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. We were so innocent. In the decade since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.
Generation Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a concerted assault on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.
The following list is a detailed breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to discuss romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the recent most viral memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.
Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!
Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reaction is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.
Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)
Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.
Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.
Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.
Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.
Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.
Indicators
Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).
The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.
Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.
Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.
Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.
Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.
High-value woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?
Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.
“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic act.
Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.
Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.
Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {
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